08 February, 2011
Love, sex and marriage. ....................gf
Is sex out of marriage justifiable? Is sex without love agreeable? Is marriage a license to intermittent sex? What is important, love or sex? There are a lot of queries to be answered. But when we think about these matters of love and relationships, it’s all confusing.
Recently I happen to hear that from a good friend of mine, as she was explaining about their marriage hiccups. She remains with him just because she is not ready to have sex outside marriage. She doesn’t love but can’t go away. She is pretty sure that he is in a relationship with another.
What is this sex? Is it so important to be given a primary value? Is the whole world revolving around this word ‘sex’? No. we just give unwanted attention, consideration, value and preference to sex. Sex is not the element, but just one of the elements that keep a relationship moving. The other important elements may be trust, sincerity, belief in each other, commitment, faithfulness, respect and so on. Sex is just one of the aspects along with this that keep the relationship or friendship rolling.
So sex outside or without love is not justifiable, rather than thinking sex outside marriage is not possible. No one cannot be bonded or forced to love with the institution called marriage. The point to be thought of is whether there is love before sex and not marriage before sex. Consummation is valued or endorsed with love and not to be by marriage. Sex without love is rape and carnal. Most mental illnesses have their origin in illegal and immoral love affairs that have very tragic consequences. Sex without love is pure animosity and immorality.
Elsewhere I read that “Sex without love is the beginning of bipolar disorder and psychosis, because the human being feels that he is only an immoral animal, and his psyche cannot accept such misery.” In such a case, if marriage and not love that is the base to have sex, then the person is leading into a psychic state of disorder. So insist on love and not marriage.
Sex is not a feeling to be acted upon anyone and everyone. We cannot practice it on companions, any person we come into contact, but when there is love in deep. I believe that no one can love two persons deeply at a time. Love is possible to one at a time. To others it may be just an affection, care or concern. So sex is not possible with more than one at a time. The relationship thus demands faithfulness from either party. A balanced and really perfect love relationship exists only when there is sexual attraction between the couple, and only when love also exists between them.
I do not support any marriage leading into a desert state of love. I do not agree with the idea of just continuing a relationship limping without love. It is a crime to force someone to live together when there is absence of love. Try to revive it and rebuild. If the repair work doesn’t work, what can be done? So it is not a must, sex inside marriages only, when there is no love between them. So when it comes to having sex without love, where do you stand?